Breaking Bread

Access information about this picture here. 

I did not grow up in a very liturgically minded church, but we recognized Maundy Thursday (which happens to be today for anyone who may not know). I never have bothered to understand why it is "Maundy," so I googled it and found this: 

"The word "Maundy" is originated from the Latin word called "mandatum," which means "commandment." This day is named after Jesus' commandment to his disciples to love one another. Maundy Thursday demonstrates the importance of humility and service by remembering Jesus washing the feet of his disciples." (https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/new-updates/maundy-thursday-what-is-the-meaning-importance-and-history-of-this-day/articleshow/99295309.cms?from=mdr#)

Circling back around to the fact Lent began on Valentine's Day this year, learning the historical roots of the name of this day seems apropos. Of course, it means the same thing every other year, too, but synchronicity is sometimes where one finds it. 

So I made some poor life choices in the late afternoon with my snacks, and by the time I entered the doors of my church for the service, each morsel of candy which had passed my lips earlier wackamoled me. I felt thin, beaten down ("like butter scraped over too much bread" per Bilbo Baggins) - my brain shifting to autopilot as I sat to listen to Leanne and Tom begin the service.

Tom picked up the bread, panning it slowly across all gathered, from right to left with no words. He held it still resting in his palms for a moment, then shifted the loaf to grab it tightly between his hands and ripped it top to bottom. I felt the tear somewhere in the space between my body and my soul: The thin layer of my will evaporating in the space between the broken loaf. And then the thought, "I know how it feels to break and shatter when strength is gone, Kara," and then my confession, "I am not alone."

If I had the energy for tears, or if I had not been taught early to suppress most of what I felt or maybe if I were not so damned fearful of vulnerability, my seat would have been a puddle. In the moment, I was the bread, but so was Christ, and He whispered, "I know." 

Good night.

PRACTICE

Lectio Divina: Read the following passage through after a few deep breaths and pay attention to any word or phrase which sticks out for you. Read through again and pay attention to anything further you notice about the word/phrase and how it applies to you. Read through again and spend time in prayer with the word/phrase asking God what you need to understand/know/do with the word/phrase (i.e., How might God be guiding you? What needs your further action? Where may your understanding need to be changed or expanded? How may this impact your relationship with someone else?). End with a time of thanksgiving. 

John 13:1-11, NRSV

Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

13 Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. 2 The devil had already decided that Judas son of Simon Iscariot would betray Jesus. And during supper 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands and that he had come from God and was going to God, 4 got up from supper, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. 5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him. 6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” 7 Jesus answered, “You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” 8 Peter said to him, “You will never wash my feet.” Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no share with me.” 9 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!” 10 Jesus said to him, “One who has bathed does not need to wash, except for the feet, but is entirely clean. And you are clean, though not all of you.” 11 For he knew who was to betray him; for this reason he said, “Not all of you are clean.”