No one knows exactly how much time had lapsed between the previous two resurrection stories of John and this possible addendum to his gospel, but the story may have gone something like this:
It was the bravest thing they could do – to go out after being in hiding – even out in the Sea, totally exposed. Yes, it was night, when murky vision could mingle with shadows and dusk – when the gathering darkness of the sky above was mirrored in the sea below, but still they had ventured out into the world that had been brutal and destructive just days before. In the days when they wondered if crucifixion by association was possible or if another traitor lurked among them, waiting to turn them over to the Teachers of the Law who would banish them from any community they had ever known.
So as the dusk gathered, they went out to the Sea as all their other options for gaining the bare necessities were drying up. If so, maybe they weren’t brave at all, just hungry, needing enough fish to salt and dry to get them past this period of unwanted notoriety, and then they could decide what to do next.
Whatever their motives, they were on the sea overnight and hadn’t caught anything. Then a voice – of some stranger they did not know – stating the obvious, “Children, you have no fish, have you?”
As they had not wanted to be noticed, they answered tersely, “No.” But the stranger continued, “Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” They looked at each other – they HAD been fishing on both sides of the boat, right? Why would it make a difference now, but again, they didn’t want to cause a stir, so they did as the stranger encouraged.
No sooner had the net had time to sink, than 153 large fish jumped right in, as if ordered to do so. While the rest of the men tried to figure out how in the world to gather the net back in with all those fish, the perceptive one of the group – the disciple who Jesus loved – John – told Peter, “It is the Lord!” Now John, being one of the Sons of Thunder, was always trying to pull one over on Peter, but Peter could tell by John’s pure enthusiasm that he wasn’t joking.
So Peter put on his clothes – he had gotten too sweaty casting out and hauling in the net all night – and he jumped in the water – maybe he was expecting to walk on it again, but instead he sank right in and began paddling toward the shore.
The other disciples watched Peter’s commotion, while dealing as best they could with the fish, and they shook their heads, laughing, and began following him ashore, though with some difficulty. They really had an abundance of fish, and they were trying to gently bring them in, so their net wouldn’t break. Really, they were surprised that it hadn’t broken already.
Once on shore, they came round the fire and saw fish and bread grilling. With their energy spent and their stomachs suddenly growling, they wanted so badly to grab what fish and bread were there. Yet this man . . . they kept looking at this man whom they thought to be Jesus. Though he felt right, he looked so different , and this raised in them some doubt and consternation.
Jesus, attempting to break the anxiety of the group, said, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught,” and Peter, always needing to move and be active, went to their boat and hauled the net ashore.
As Peter busied himself with the fish, the other disciples talked amongst themselves, recalling how Jesus first came to them, asking to use their boats to get some distance from the crowds in order to teach the crowds more easily. In that first meeting, they were in a similar circumstance, they had not caught anything all night, but when Jesus told them to cast their nets again, they had an abundance of fish. And then when they had been with him, far away from town, with a multitude of hungry mouths, and only two fish and 5 loaves - well, the whole crowd – 5000 + - was fed from that, with 12 baskets of fragments left. Abundance from scarcity- it was too coincidental to be coincidence. This had to be Jesus.
When Peter returned with as many fish as he could carry, Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Then Jesus walked over to the fire and took the bread, and like a servant, He brought it to them, one-by-one, being sure that each was served. Then he did the same with the fish. They remembered Jesus washing their feet, the night he was betrayed. They remembered his words, “For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.”
With food and time, the conversation grew easier. Jesus asked them how they were, assured them that he was indeed himself, reminded them of the Scriptures, and all the many promises of God. He reminded them that he was with them, always, that he was the Way, the Truth, the Life – that he came so that they could have life abundantly, but also so that those around them could have life abundantly – even those they felt were enemies, maybe even especially those they felt were enemies.
Peter sat quietly throughout the entire meal. He stared into the fire, remembering the fire where he sat when he denied he was a disciple of Jesus. How could he talk to anyone about abundant life? How could he encourage others to be good disciples when panic and pressure had caused him to cave and to deny his discipleship?
He got up after breakfast, walking away from the fire and into the morning sun. Jesus followed him. “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”
Simon, a bit perplexed by the question, turned and looked at the sea and said, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.”
“Feed my lambs, “ was Jesus’ reply.
“Whatever,” Simon thought and continued to walk away, caught up in his thoughts of failure.
He heard Jesus again, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”
He turned and looked at Jesus and said, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.”
“Tend my sheep,” Jesus said.
Peter stared into this man’s eyes – this was Jesus, right? He knew what a coward he had been, right? What could love do at this point? Yes, he loved this man so much, yet even love had not kept him from doubt and fear, from stumbling and hiding, from denying any relationship with or to Jesus. He turned and looked back at the sea, wading in his thoughts.
Jesus said a third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”
An ache shot through Simon’s heart, for as the question was asked again, it sunk in and he remembered what he had said those months before, “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69 We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” This was his confession, his binding promise to go with Jesus wherever it would take him.
Simon answered, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.”
Jesus replied, “Feed my sheep. Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.”
Years later, Simon Peter would remember this day, the sun rising over the hills, the cool breeze on his face. He remembered the words feeling weighty, but not burdensome. As Jesus said to him, “Follow me,” he knew that Jesus was asking him to be more than just Simon Peter. Jesus was asking him to be Jesus to the world around him – to participate in the “greater works” that Jesus had said his disciples would perform. He knew that Jesus was calling him to carry forward the great love of God that had sent Jesus to die on a cross, and he knew that he was being called to even lay his own life down for the lives of others. This was discipleship, this was ultimately following Jesus.
Two thousand years later, on this third Sunday after Easter, what does this story say to us?
Pay attention: The hazy recognition of Jesus is an important element of the story. The text tells us that the disciples were afraid to ask him “Who are you?” because they knew it was Jesus, but because the story even mentions this, it hints that Jesus did not look like the Jesus they saw twice in the last chapter. It’s as if his appearance shifted ever so slightly each time they saw him.
If this chapter is a late addition to the gospel, it may have been added to speak to a community of Christians that were no longer having the intimate, detailed conversations with Jesus that the disciples had. This story was a lesson to the disciples of the disciples – or in other words , us - on training our attention and our instincts as well as our trust. Yes, the disciples went back to their livelihood, but Jesus brings a new dimension to the day-to-day. The original disciples, the disciples to whom John wrote, and we are to listen for Jesus, to look for him in a stranger on the beach or on the road as we travel. It is a story beckoning us to trust that Jesus is still at work in the world and inviting us to welcome the strangers among us as Christ himself.
Trust in God’s Abundance: John is a gospel that begins with the basic tenet that where Jesus is, there is abundance. We see it with the fish in this story, but John also tells of the feeding of the 5,000 and the wedding at Cana. John’s Jesus says there will be a river of life flowing through us and he came so that we might have life abundantly. Again, in this story, the disciples seemed to recognize Jesus only because of the way circumstances fell into place when he was around – and they fell into place in an abundant way.
This isn’t to say there isn’t loss, suffering, pain – Jesus doesn’t say he is removing those, but he does say, in John, that he has not left us orphans and he has not left us comfortless. He has given us his Spirit and he has given us each other. We are agents of God’s abundance to each other both within the church and to those outside of the church.
Finally, Jesus doesn’t give up on you or anyone else: Peter had messed up, he knew this, and Jesus knew this, but Jesus doggedly pursues him in this passage and ultimately places on him Jesus’ mantle of being the Shepherd of God’s people. Jesus was defining Peter’s worth and identity. Jesus was bringing him back into the fold.
One of my favorite parts of the Presbyterian liturgy is the Call to Confession and Assurance of Pardon – every week, we have the opportunity to come before God and each other, confessing our sins and then hearing those blessed words that In Christ Jesus we are forgiven and are being made whole. God sees us as we are, but because of God’s love and Christ’s love, which is so high and wide and long and deep – God will not give up on us – on any of us.
